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How can I tell someone that I want to be his or her friend?

Meaning of “I didn't hear from him until now”What do you call it when someone searches through your stuff?How to understand this sentence “Identify issues that you needs to escalate to appropriate people in AAA”?better word for “feed him”How do I invite a friend “on my expense”?When you want to prevent someone from being foul-mouthedhow to give regards to someoneThe act of calling student names to make list of absent studentsHow to understand “As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school.” in this context?“Get to know” usage

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4

Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.

From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:

Can we know each other?

From google, I think I can say:

Can we get to know each other?

According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?

sentence-meaning phrase-request

share|improve this question

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
  
  – cobaltduck
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

4

Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.

From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:

Can we know each other?

From google, I think I can say:

Can we get to know each other?

According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?

sentence-meaning phrase-request

share|improve this question

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  I think you really have two questions. First, how to word your request, which you rightly ask here. Second, how to actually approach the other person, which may go well at interpersonal.stackexchange.com
  
  – cobaltduck
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

Let's say I'm new to a school or a place and I'd like to know the name of my colleague and I want him or her to be my friend.

From a movie, I heard a sentence like that:

Can we know each other?

From google, I think I can say:

Can we get to know each other?

According to AmE, can I use those sentences so that people know what I mean? Is there a difference between them? Is there a better or more correct sentence?

sentence-meaning phrase-request

share|improve this question

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

share|improve this question

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

share|improve this question

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

edited 7 hours ago

Roijan Eskor

1603

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

asked 11 hours ago

user2824371user2824371

97721327

3 Answers
3

active

oldest

votes

17

Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.

Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)

While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  You're right about that. so I think you mean that both sentences are not used in practical life.
  
  – user2824371
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  6
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
  
  – James K
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  6
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
  
  – Aethenosity
  9 hours ago
  
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
  
  – James K
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
  
  – JMac
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 6 more comments

9

“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.

“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
  
  – user2824371
  10 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

1

As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.

That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).

"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.

"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.

But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746

add a comment | 

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17

Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.

Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)

While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  You're right about that. so I think you mean that both sentences are not used in practical life.
  
  – user2824371
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  6
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
  
  – James K
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  6
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
  
  – Aethenosity
  9 hours ago
  
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
  
  – James K
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
  
  – JMac
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 6 more comments

17

Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.

Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)

While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  You're right about that. so I think you mean that both sentences are not used in practical life.
  
  – user2824371
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  6
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  There's nothing wrong with them from a grammar point of view, but they are not tactful.
  
  – James K
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  6
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @user2824371 there is also a bit of a sexual overtone to those sentences. People in the US (at least near me) sometimes use "know" to mean "have sex with." So in certain places, a person may get offended, but they would just be jumping to conclusions; Know most often has to do with knowledge.
  
  – Aethenosity
  9 hours ago
  
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Indeed. "Adam knew Eve" says the bible
  
  – James K
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @Aethenosity Yeah, "get to know each other" doesn't hold much of that connotation. Reading "Can we know each other?" my first thought was "Wow, that's basically a biblical version of 'wanna bone?'"
  
  – JMac
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 6 more comments

Socially this is awkward. It is not common to "ask to be friends". If you don't know someone's name, you can't know that you want to be friends.

Instead, you introduce yourself, talk about things that interest you both, and if you get along you might arrange to meet again later. If you tell someone your name it is natural for them to tell you theirs (so you don't need to ask for it directly)

While you are introducing yourself, you can say something like "I'm new to this school, so I'm looking for friends". This is indirect and doesn't put any pressure on the other person. But any direct request is likely to be awkward. What if the other person wants to say "no"?

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

answered 11 hours ago

James KJames K

40.4k143101

9

“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.

“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
  
  – user2824371
  10 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

9

“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.

“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Wow this answer is useful too. Thank you so much for your time :)
  
  – user2824371
  10 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

“Can we know each other?” is a weird-sounding question; don’t ask it. It sounds like it has the meaning “Is it possible we know each other?” or “Are we allowed to know each other?” - neither of which is what you mean to ask.

“Can we get to know each other?” is a normal question that someone could ask; the meaning is what you think it is. But I agree with James K that you should probably start off by asking someone’s name and talking about things you have in common. If you were to open with “Can we get to know each other?” it would probably come off as forward and/or aggressive- they might think you are interested in them in a romantic way and want to take them on a date. It would be best to get to know them first by introducing yourself and talking about school (or whatever the place is where you’ve met).

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

answered 11 hours ago

MixolydianMixolydian

4,965715

1

As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.

That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).

"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.

"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.

But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746

add a comment | 

1

As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.

That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).

"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.

"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.

But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746

add a comment | 

As the previous answerers noted, both phrases are grammatical, but awkward socially if said during an introduction.

That doesn't mean there isn't a place for them (or similar phrases).

"I hope we can spend some time together" is a good way to signal a casual friend you don't know well that you are interested in a romantic relationship, but with low pressure.

"I hope we can be friends" is a good phrase for clarifying intentions. For example, if you get the feeling someone is interested romantically but you just want normal friendship. Or if there was some conflict or disagreement you just settled and you want them to know that you are open to friendship.

But with someone you don't know, the best way to make friends is to start acting like a friend. Offering help with something works if you see the person needs something, but you can just start with small talk and then introduce yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746

share|improve this answer

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746

answered 8 hours ago

MichaelMichael

1746