14 year old daughter buying thongsAt what age should a child be able to dress herself?To Socks or not to...
Strong empirical falsification of quantum mechanics based on vacuum energy density
Can a Canadian Travel to the USA twice, less than 180 days each time?
A social experiment. What is the worst that can happen?
Redundant comparison & "if" before assignment
What is the evidence for the "tyranny of the majority problem" in a direct democracy context?
Does malloc reserve more space while allocating memory?
Has any country ever had 2 former presidents in jail simultaneously?
What should you do when eye contact makes your subordinate uncomfortable?
What exact color does ozone gas have?
Plot of a tornado-shaped surface
The probability of Bus A arriving before Bus B
What is going on with 'gets(stdin)' on the site coderbyte?
Store Credit Card Information in Password Manager?
How much character growth crosses the line into breaking the character
How to cover method return statement in Apex Class?
What if a revenant (monster) gains fire resistance?
Is there an injective, monotonically increasing, strictly concave function from the reals, to the reals?
How does the math work for Perception checks?
Does an advisor owe his/her student anything? Will an advisor keep a PhD student only out of pity?
On a tidally locked planet, would time be quantized?
What is Cash Advance APR?
Pre-mixing cryogenic fuels and using only one fuel tank
Why is so much work done on numerical verification of the Riemann Hypothesis?
Is aluminum electrical wire used on aircraft?
14 year old daughter buying thongs
At what age should a child be able to dress herself?To Socks or not to socks?My daughter hates all pants other than her sweats?Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearanceWhat expenses should I pay for my 16-year-old daughterIt's winter. How to dress up my 2-year-old daughter for daycare?How can I motivate a 13-year-old girl to take better care of her appearance?My daughter wants to express herself, but her school has uniforms?How do I resolve this bikini problem between wife and daughter?13 year old daughter refusing to wear a real bra
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
clothes
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
61
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Your Answer
StackExchange.ready(function() {
var channelOptions = {
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "228"
};
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);
StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
createEditor();
});
}
else {
createEditor();
}
});
function createEditor() {
StackExchange.prepareEditor({
heartbeatType: 'answer',
autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: true,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
imageUploader: {
brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
allowUrls: true
},
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
});
}
});
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fparenting.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f35985%2f14-year-old-daughter-buying-thongs%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
add a comment |
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
add a comment |
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
3462
add a comment |
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 2 hours ago
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
answered 2 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
1014
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Thanks for contributing an answer to Parenting Stack Exchange!
- Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!
But avoid …
- Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.
- Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.
To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fparenting.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f35985%2f14-year-old-daughter-buying-thongs%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
